He comforts us in all our troubles so that we can comfort others. When they are troubled, we will be able to give them the same comfort God has given us.

~ 2 Corinthians 1:4

Rejoice in our confident hope. Be patient in trouble, and keep on praying.

~ Romans 12:12

I waited patiently for the Lord to help me, and he turned to me and heard my cry.

~ Psalm 40:1

As we pray to our God and Father about you, we think of your faithful work, your loving deeds, and the enduring hope you have because of the Lord Jesus Christ.

~ 1 Thessalonians 1:3

I was talking with one of my dear friends the other day.  A fellow adoptive mom that I have gotten the opportunity to be around a few times in the last year.  She was saying how positive I am on the web.  I told her that there were down times too, then I realized that I haven't posted about those much lately.  There are sad moments in each day as I think about our adoption.  I think of the conditions that George and James are growing up in.  I think about how I'd love to scoop them up, tickle them, kiss them, and cherish them exactly the same way that God does.  God loves those two little boys more than Jeremy and I do.  More than anyone else does.  I have been trying to give my anxieties to God when the sad times come.  I also have been tryinG to thank the Lord for all the blessings in my life.  So while the sad times come, I try to keep them shorter and shorter as I say "Father, here.  Take these thoughts and feelings from me."  And he does!  I have continued to remind myself that there is absolutely nothing I can do about the situation the Lord has us in with our adoption.  It is all up to him, his timing, and his plan.  We will wait patiently on the Lord and wait.

The past month and a half of my life have been amazing.  The Lord has showered blessings, peace, and healing over my heart, mind, soul, and body.  He restored me!  I keep telling people I feel more like "Kami," the Kami I know I am, the Kami I want to be, the Kami I know I can become.  I read more, dig into my bible more, work out more, love more, and am focused on the words he keeps repeating to me "JUST BE."  I have heard my father God tell me those two words hundreds of times within the last month and a half.  I wasn't too sure what it meant at first, but I put my best effort forward to learn.  I am starting to get it now, but am still unsure that I could explain it to anyone.  I guess those two words could mean something different to each person.  All I can say is that I am so thankful that the Lord scooped me up into his arms, dusted me off, put me back on my feet, and is helping me learn to go forward again.  Isn't that what parents (Fathers) are supposed to do?  I kept going to him with the "what about" and "what if" and "why" and he kept repeating "JUST BE my child, just be."  Well I am "just being," and it feels great.  Someone at work asked me how I was doing the other day, and I said "Fantastic!"  I meant it, smiled when I said it, and felt even better.  Ah, positive thinking.  Ah, life is GREAT!  We are supposed to praise God at all times right?  I'll praise you in this storm!  I am trying to figure out what that means, but I know my storm isn't nearly as big as others.  If I can't praise him in little storms I can't praise him in big storms.

I posted these verses and am telling my story (as prompted by my sweet friend) to say that I don't have it all figured out.  I don't have "it all together."  Since GOd gave us free will the only things that I am in control of in my life is my attitude and my actions.  Honestly, I have no clue what I am doing.  The only thing that I know I am trying really hard to do is focus on the Lord and what he wants me to do.  One step at a time.  Stalling in one step is "just being."  Resting in the presence and glory of the Lord is healthy.  Taking a deep breathe in, and letting all the air out, and repeating over and over with nothing else to do is a very good thing.  Snuggling up close to God while he holds me in his arms is a great thing.  Spending more time with my wonderful, handsome, sweet husband is a fantastic thing.

Well, that is more to the story of my life right now.  Thanks for reading and letting me share.